Wait, what? Don’t help my kids? It’s summer, the kids are home. It’s a time to have more flexibility in your day to day schedule, a break from making school lunches and homework, and the ability to wake up each day and say, “What do we want to do”.
I realize that some of you work full or part time in or out of the home, so your kids may be in camps for some or all of the summer. But summer still feels more relaxed and there are opportunities for things that don’t exist in the school year.
Relaxation is a must for our health and wellbeing. No matter our age. Growth and development is also needed, no matter our age. Currently, I am learning to play the guitar and re-learning Spanish. What are you learning right now?
What do you want your kids to learn this summer? I am not suggesting a full curriculum like school, but it’s good for their minds and bodies and bodies to grow in ways that school does not teach.
What responsibilities do your kids have at home, or what areas have they been struggling in (for example, relationships) that could get some attention this summer? The key is making sure we are serving and supporting our kids, not helping them. I could explain this, but the below excerpt from Rev. Iyanla Vanzant explain it beautifully.
In today’s world, help is based on the premise that people are incapable or unable to do what they need to do to support themselves. Help often carries an inherent judgment of less than/better than; inadequate/unfit/unworthy. Service and support is grounded in the premise that everyone is capable of solving their own problems because they have the inner authority to choose. As a result, service and support requires that you have an invitation to “step in” which means the individual is making the choice for themselves. In service and support you do what is requested in respect for the individual rather than giving or doing what you “think” is required. In service and support you offer what you have in the moment without an attachment to the outcome because you have respect for the choice made by the individual. ~Rev. Iyanla Vanzant
Do you sometimes fall in the trap of helping your kids with what you “think” they need. And then feel like they aren’t listening? I encourage you to listen, watch, and see the invitation that is presented for you to “step into” their lives.
Throw out your summer agenda, if you made one. If you are “stepping in”, the lessons will present themselves. Let their inner wisdom guide you together to their next journey!