Last week I had a bad night’s sleep. I couldn’t shut off my mind and sleep because I was feeling behind at home, in nurturing my relationships and with my health coaching practice. Was I behind in all of those areas? Sure. But was I behind enough to lose sleep over it. Absolutely not!
In fact, if you had asked my family if they even noticed what I hadn’t gotten around to, about the only answer I probably would have gotten is that I’m behind in fixing a dessert, that it’s been a week (the horror) and that they thought dinner would have been five minutes earlier. Nevermind the house that desperately needing cleaning, the fact that I haven’t updated Quicken in months, the YEARS of family photo albums I haven’t put together, the emergency weather box that probably has 5 year old food and water in it with decaying bandaids, the baby books I still need finish (my kids are 10, 7 and 5 ½), the travel packing lists I need to update because we no longer need to shlep diapers and pack ‘n plays, the medical history notebooks that we all should have, re-organizing computer files, and the list that I could say I am behind on goes on. No one in my family has noticed any of that. Well, maybe my husband has noticed Quicken isn’t updated.
And if you had asked my friends if I had been neglecting them, the answer would probably be that they had been so busy themselves that they felt like they have been out of touch for the past several months. And as for my business, only I know what I am behind on. And the ways in which I am helping people everyday far outnumber the list of things I haven’t gotten to yet.
So what I am I getting at here? Overthinking. The “art” of creating problems that weren’t even there.
Now you could argue that any of the household or business tasks I feel behind on, or the lack of a night out with friends does exist, but are they really as problematic as I made them out to be in my head the other night? No. And I lost good sleep over it. I absolutely want to make progress in those things that were jumping around my monkey mind, but none of them are so pressing that they will cause imminent doom should they not get done right now.
Oftentimes, our own worst enemy is right between our ears. Keeping your thoughts inside allows them to fester, allows you to create fantastical conversations that have never happened, and as the picture says, create problems that are not there. Thankfully, there is something we can do. It’s called Reframing. Betty Rocker has a great video HERE on the topic.
Reframing your thoughts, influences your self-talk which affects your self worth and value system. It takes time, patience and practice to get better at reframing. It also takes having a place to talk out loud. So much healing, understanding and action can come from getting your thoughts expressed out loud to another human being. If it’s only the bathroom mirror, that is better than nothing. At least you are looking yourself in the eyes when doing so, and accountability is created.
The ability to talk freely, and really be heard is some of what I feel like has the most power when I am working with a client. The AHA! moments that come just from getting to talk are amazing. So what problems have been created inside your monkey mind? How much are they affecting other areas of your life? Get in touch with me and I can help!
